I need to stop. Just fucking...stop. I told her again. I can't believe I did it. Dad says to leave her out of my life, but I can't stop fucking thinking about her. And what I've done to her. It's terrible. And now she's mad at me, and I'm not sure why. All I've done is told her I love her and how much I regret dumping her. And she got mad at me. I'm trying to change for her and she thinks I'm trying to rub it in her face.

I don't ever want to hurt her again. I don't want to see her hurt, even. I know she can heal, but I don't fucking care. Honestly, I'd jump in front of a thousand bullets, even if I couldn't come back. Fuck.

Sometimes I think it would have been easier if she just left me dead.